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King gives South African government eviction notice

Following the recent saga around the ANC’s capitulation to King Goodwill Zwelithini on the Ingonyama Trust, King Khoebaha Calvin Cornelius III of the Khoi San has declared that the Cape is no longer a part of South Africa.

“Today the final phase of the secession was completed, I handed in an eviction notice to the government of South Africa and raised the flag of the sovereign state of Good Hope,” Cornelius III said in a video that was posted to YouTube.

Cornelius III then went on speak about how the Khoi San lived in harmony with nature until the settlers came and marginalised them, even hunting them for sport. He went on to discuss the Khoi San’s mistreatment and resistance under Apartheid.

“24 years after liberation, we are still marginalised as a nation,”  Cornelius III said.

He also raised concerns about land expropriation without compensation – pointing out that the Khoi San are a minority in South Africa.

“What is preventing the powers that be from engaging in xenophobic attacks on us after uhuru has been completed?” The king asked.

He pledged that in the state of Good Hope, everyone who agrees to be a citizen shall have the right to freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom from want and freedom from fear.

“It is important for us to be forgiving. Nothing can be done about our past, but our future can be groomed from the mistakes we have learned from our past.”

After stating that the South Africa government has five days to get out as per his eviction notice, the monarch concluded with these words which he claimed were said by Abraham Lincoln:

‘You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help the wage-earner by pulling down the wage-payer. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.’

According to the Washington Post, these words actually came from William J. H. Boetcker, an ex clergyman.

My take

This is bloody funny.

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